Innocence stolen - Sexual assault survivor refuses to suffer in silence

Thirteen years ago, when Motanya was just 14, her life was violently altered by someone she knew and trusted within her own community. The young teen said she was subjected to trauma that not only shadowed her adolescence, but shaped many of the choices she made in the years that followed.

Motanya was adamant that her identity be revealed as a survivor of sexual assault, insisting that her story be told openly.

Now, bearing the scars of that sordid ordeal, she is insisting that the label 'victim' not be attached to her, arguing instead to be referred to as a "survivor". Her voice, she says, is for the many girls and women who continue to suffer in silence after experiencing sexual violence.

"I don't want another female to sit in silence and suffer," she said.

For Motanya, the timing feels significant.

April is observed globally as Sexual Assault Awareness Month, a period dedicated to education, advocacy, and support for survivors. Data from the Economic and Social Survey Jamaica 2013 indicate that a total of 1,225 sexual assault cases were reported to public hospitals that year, with females age 5-19 accounting for 843 of those cases.

A decade later, the problem remains persistent. In 2023, the National Children's Registry recorded 1,342 reports of sexual abuse, including 913 involving females and 429 involving males.

Behind these statistics are deeply personal stories of trauma, survival, and resilience. Motanya's experience is one such story. She recalls growing up in a small rural district with limited resources. On the day her life changed, she had simply left to buy lunch when she encountered a man she recognised from a youth group -- someone at least 10 years older than her.

What began as a casual exchange quickly took a disturbing turn.

After taking her phone under the guise of a joke, the man walked off, prompting Motanya to follow him in an attempt to retrieve it. At one point, she even sought help from a nearby female police officer, but the situation was dismissed as harmless banter.

"She laughed it off and tell him to give me my phone, and that was it. She didn't ensure that I had my phone in my hand," Motanya said.

Moments later, the situation escalated into violence.

She recounted being grabbed from behind and forced into a house. Despite fighting back, she was overpowered. When she resisted, she said her attacker brandished a gun and threatened not only her life, but the lives of her loved ones.

"I cried," she said recounting the darkest moment in her life when she was brutally robbed of her innocence. "In my head, I relived the ordeal a lot of times," she said.

After the assault, the man opened the door and allowed her to leave. She immediately contacted her mother, who rushed to her and reported the matter to the police.

"The police took me to the hospital, and they said they went to the house and never saw any one. At that point my mother decided to take my little sister and I to Kingston," Motanya said.

"Nothing didn't come out of it," she said.

Her mother, contacted by THE WEEKEND STAR via telephone, refused to speak about the issue. She said the ordeal is too much for her to revisit.

"I really don't want to go back into time. I don't want to talk about it."

Motanya, however, does not have that luxury. She has no choice but to confront her trauma daily, even as she tries to heal.

Healing, though, has been difficult. Three years after the incident, at age 17, Motanya unexpectedly came face to face with her attacker while working at an event in the Corporate Area. The encounter triggered a physical reaction she could not control.

"When I saw him, my nose started bleeding and I got an instant headache," she said.

Motanya claimed that she contacted the police, but said the response came too late. Under Jamaican law, there is no statute of limitations for serious criminal offences such as sexual assault, meaning charges can still be brought against her abuser regardless of how much time has passed.

Motanya longs for the day when the man who violated her as a child is grabbed by the long hands of the law.

"Although it has been years since I was raped, of course I would want justice to be served," she said. "Not only because it happened to me, but to show other abusers out there that there are laws and this is what can happen."

"I would want my rapist to face imprisonment for the pain that he has caused me. I want him to feel what it feels like to be locked up, because I was locked up in my mind," she said.

Although she is now married and has a supporting husband, Motanya said her hellish experience left deep emotional scars. She struggled with unresolved trauma, at times acting out and searching for ways to cope with the pain.

"I then started getting lots of tattoes and piercings, as that was my way of enduring the inner pain that I was feeling," she said.

Today, however, she speaks from a place of growth -- not closure, but progress.

She has since built a life that includes a supportive partner and a renewed sense of purpose. While she acknowledges that healing is ongoing, she is no longer willing to carry her story in silence.

"There are times when I think that I am over it, but I don't think I get over it fully as just speaking about it now changes my entire mood," she said.

"I am not looking for any sympathy, but more trying to spread awareness and being that voice. I don't want another female to sit in silence and suffer. I am not over my experience, but I am doing better. I am not hiding it any longer, " Motanya added.