Don’t want to be babymother #3

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 and I have a boyfriend. He is living alone and he is only 29 years old.

He has fathered two children with two different women, but he is not with any of them now. He said he made a mistake when he got the mother of his first child pregnant. She told him that she was on the Pill, but after she got pregnant, she confessed that she was not. She was two years older than him, so he did not like her enough to continue having a relationship with her. But he supports his child.

The mother of the second child is a much better person. But she does not dress well. She goes on the street in short shorts. He has spoken to her many times about that. He told her that she should not show so much skin when she is going out.

This guy came to my church during a crusade. I was singing on the choir and I caught his eyes. After the meeting, he asked me for my number. I started to talk to him, but I don’t like the type of work he does. He is always asking me for sex. I told him that the friendship has not reached anywhere yet, so why is he so eager to have sex with me? He said he is eager because I am so beautiful and he doesn’t want any other man to get me. I have two more years in university and I don’t want to get involved with this man. He has been coming around church but I know what he is after.

I am not chasing anybody and I told this man that I don’t see myself getting married soon, so he should not look on me; he should look elsewhere for a wife. I am not prepared to be his third babymother. I also told him that if he continues to call me, I will block his number.

R.

Dear R.,

You mentioned the type of work this man does, but I have refrained from printing that because I do not want to give the public the impression that all men who engage in that sort of work are bad men. There are many outstanding young men of good character, who are a part of that profession.

This young man should not try to rush you. Love is not something that one should rush. This man is behaving like a bull dog that is in heat. He has to learn to respect you. He has been visiting your church, but his motive is not good. He is not attending church to worship; he is coming around because he wants to get in your pants. So, continue to be a wise young woman.

Pastor