Didn’t know my husband had an outside child

Dear Pastor,

I am 41 years old and my husband is 55. He has always been a girls' man.

When my father found out that I loved this man, he told me that I should remember that he has many girls. I told my father that I was aware of that, but I loved him. My father did not fight me over that. The man was very prominent in society, and he took very good care of me. I would also tease him about his other girlfriends, and he used to tell me that I was special. I had a child, but it was not for him. He treated her as his very own, and she started to call him daddy. I didn't have to bother to pay her school fees. He took that on. He moved her from the school she was attending and sent her to a prominent prep school then on to high school. Her father stopped supporting her when I got married to this man.

I thought that by now this man would have changed, but he still loves many women. I don't allow what he is doing to get me down because whenever I talk to him about what I heard, he tells me that people are always telling lies about him, and I should know that they are lying because he is always coming home early. He tells me that I can always search his phone. About a month ago, I got a call from a young lady who asked for my husband. I told her he was not at home, and I asked who was speaking. She said she was his daughter who is visiting Jamaica from America and she would love to see him. She asked if she could leave her number, and I said yes. She left her name and number. When my husband came home, I showed him the number and I told him what the girl said. He told me that he hoped I had spoken to her politely. He said he knew about her, but he had not met her. So I asked him if she was his daughter, and he said it was possible.

Late into the night, my husband got up and called the number and was on the phone with the young girl for about half an hour. I did not try to listen to what they were saying. Now, the young woman is getting married and wants him to give her away. He is looking forward to that, but he also wants me to attend the wedding. I called his daughter and asked me if she really wanted me to attend, and she said yes. She also said that she would love for me to stand in the place of her mother, who died two years ago.

Do you think I should attend?

P.T.

Dear P.T.,

Accompany your husband to the wedding. You knew that your husband was a girls' man as he calls himself.

You accepted him. You always knew that there are times when he would not tell you the full truth, but both of you lived happily. This young woman called you, and she did not disrespect you. Your husband has accepted her as his daughter. So go and enjoy the wedding and stand by your husband. Do whatever you are asked to do at the reception.

Pastor